It Will Be As If I Never Existed
by Three-Quarter Moon
Summary: ONESHOT After saying goodbye to Bella in New Moon, Edward returns to the house intending to destroy any reminders of him that had been left in her posession. He didn't realize it would be the most difficult task he had ever faced.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Edward Cullen. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer, a genius who is not me.**_

This story takes place in New Moon, right after Edward tells Bella goodbye. It had been swirling in my head for awhile... before I decided to end up writing it. It obviously contains spoilers, so no reading if you haven't read the book. By the way... it's in Edward's POV.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had one last thing that I needed to do before I could leave Forks for good. However, I knew I would need to hurry this up before Bella came home.

The bedroom window was open, as usual. The house was in the exact same state we had left it in. I was able to climb through as easily as always. Nothing was standing in my way for me to do what I was about to do.

I was able to find everything that I needed without any difficulties. The plane tickets from Esme and Carlisle were left carelessly on her dresser. The CD that I had made her was in her walkman, waiting to be played. The pictures she had taken were in her photo album, and I had no difficulties in removing them. As I took all of her belongings, I couldn't help but think about how easy it was. Almost too easy.

_"Okay, let's talk." _She had a brave face, but I was able to see right through her. I knew she was scared.

_"You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-- it's yours already!" _If she only understood what she was actually saying, she would think twice before saying it so carelessly.

_"You... don't... want... me?" _If only she knew...

How could it be so easy for her to believe me? Did she not have faith in me? After all that I had tried to give her... after all the times that I had told her that how much I loved her... and after all the times I had spent trying to prove it through my actions, how could everything we worked so hard to build up be shattered so quickly and easily?

I had to leave quickly. I was already wavering in my resolve to stay away. Remember, I reminded myself. This is what is best for Bella.

I had everything I needed. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to find a way to destroy it.

And yet, as memories started replaying in my mind like a movie reel, I realized that I didn't want to.

_"H-how'd you know my name?"_

_"What? Are you speaking to me again?"_

_"Honestly, Edward. I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."_

_"I love you, Edward..."_

I couldn't do it. I couldn't just destroy everything... everything we had built up over the past few months. I wanted to return... I wanted to run back to her arms and plead for forgiveness. Tell her how much I loved her, and that I was sorry for making her believe such a lie. Would she take me back? Would I be able to take back the hurtful words I had said not too long ago? Though I knew I wouldn't be able to blame her if she never forgave me.

I remembered my promise._ "It will be as if I never existed..."_

No... I couldn't back out now. I couldn't be the selfish creature that I couldn't deny I was. I was going to do this the right way. No matter how much pain I would have to suffer... it would all be worth it for Bella's happiness. I knew that in time, she would forget all about me. She would be happy. She would live a long, healthy human life. She would move on, and find someone else who can be worthy of her.

But what would happen to me? Afterall, I was a vampire, doomed to walk the planet for eternity. I knew for a fact that my memories wouldn't fade... and there was no doubt that I would always and forever love her. Yet would Bella ever realize this? I couldn't help but hope that someday, she would look back and know that she was loved. If I left some part of me here, perhaps that would be enough to comfort me in times of darkness.

I found a loose floorboard under her bed. Carefully, I placed everything in the little space I had, before I put the foorboard back into place. After that, I scanned the room, making sure I had everything. I did.

I had to leave now. I was sure Bella would be coming home soon. I knew she would start to wonder about her belongings. And I was sure she would end up hating me once she searched and realized that I had taken them... but what she wouldn't realize was that they were with her all along. Everything... and she would never even know that they were here.

_"It will be as if I never existed."_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please review!


End file.
